Baby Blues and Postpartum for Dads
Let’s get right to it: Is the mother of your new child
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and insecure?
Experiencing crying spells, sadness, or displaying hopelessness?
Is she angry, irritable, or frustrated (more than usual)?
Talking about repetitive fears and worries?
Please consider this: 80% (that’s 8 of 10) new moms go through what is referred to as Baby Blues. It’s normal and in most cases occurs between birth and 6 weeks. Hormone levels drop significantly in the first weeks after delivery, combined with less sleep and being overly tired (hey! It’s a lot of work giving birth!) and many moms feel inadequate about being a “good mother.” That’s a lot of new emotions and thoughts to handle. This is where YOU come in dad.
It may sound simple, but being supportive, present to help take care of your new child, and asking for outside support from family and friends is something you can handle. Be careful how you approach these moments of helping, make sure you don’t infer that she is somehow incapable of being a mother. Be her friend and offer to LISTEN, even if you don’t completely understand.
She may feel isolated, trapped, and shut in. Take note of her needs and see how you can meet some of them. Help her “get out” for a little fresh air, sit in the sun, or go on a short drive for scenery beyond the confines of your home. Handle the baby and car seat like a Pro to build her confidence in working together as a new family. You can be her guide to overcoming the Baby Blues, helping to establish new routines while those hormones get settled again. For most new parents, the blues resolve naturally.
Here’s a helpful list for dads from Postpartum.net on HOW TO HELP MOM
Reassure her: this is not her fault; she is not alone; she will get better.
Encourage her to talk about her feelings and listen without judgment.
Help with housework before she asks you.
Encourage her to take time for herself. Breaks are a necessity; fatigue is a major contributing factor to worsening symptoms.
Don’t expect her to be super-housewife just because she’s home all day.
Be realistic about what time you’ll be home, and come home on time.
Help her reach out to others for support and treatment.
Schedule some dates with her and work together to find a babysitter.
Offer simple affection and physical comfort, but be patient if she is not up for sex. It’s normal for her to have a low sex drive with depression, and rest and recovery will help to bring it back.
NOTE: about 1 of 7 new mothers develop postpartum depression, which can be quite serious. If things are not improving within two weeks of the birth, consult your obstetrician or a helpline and seek assistance. You may be the only one close enough to notice her symptoms. In San Bernardino County, dial 211, they can help. Or call me! 909-878-2326.
